"Any Fool Can Criticize Condemn and Complain"

I used to be so sad that I didn't get to spend nearly as much time with the children as volunteers are able too, but I have come to learn that we, Lee and I, are here to serve the volunteers. Yes we serve the children, but largely in an indirect way, making this experience possible for volunteers.We make sure that the volunteers are well physically, spiritually and emotionally. Yesterday's events involved nurturing all of those areas.

The Roseros (the Directors whose Assistants we are) have been out of town, and just like last time they went out of town something big happened.

Basically, the month of December has been full of adjusting and readjusting. The volunteers have been constantly saying goodbye to one and then welcoming another. Naturally they were stuck in Tuckman's Group Stages of forming and storming and never had the change to move on norming and performing.( Click here to read more about each stage.) I have watched as this took its toll and dampened the mood of the group as I overheard back-bitting conversations this week. And Tuesday everything erupted.

Tuesday afternoon Lee and I needed to finish up some office work before I had the Young Women from our ward over to work on a craft. All of the volunteers were at shift besides one male volunteer (lets call him Matt) and a female volunteer( Lets call her Jane), who were shopping in the city.

I was working on the craft with the young women in the dining room when Jane open the gate, then the front door and ran up the stairs crying. Matt, quite a distance behind her entered the house and quickly asked, "Where is Lee? I need to talk to him NOW." Matt went to spoke to Lee and I finished things up with the Young Women. When I was finished I went to talk to Jane. Basically, the two of them got in an argument in town and both were livid, never wanting to see each other again. After talking to Jane I went to talk to Lee. Lee told me Matt's side and I shared Jane's side. We together decided this needed to be solved before the other volunteers got home from shift. So Lee coached Jane and I coached Matt on how to speak to each other. The four of us met together in the office. It started off a bit rough, but in the end they were each able to recognize and apologize for their part. We discussed the importance of not talking about this incident to anyone else- to let it be and not poison the others. They agreed.

Tuesdays are our big meeting days. Each Tuesday normally begins with a private leadership meeting with the Roseros, but this week they were out of town so Lee and I met alone.

Then beginning around 6:30om Lee meets individually with what are called "Site Leaders", we currently have 5 Site leaders. Site leaders are volunteers who have been selected to work at a specific orphanage more than any other volunteers. The main purpose of this is to give the children consistent good care.

While Lee is conducting his Site meetings, I am conducting my Committee meetings in another room. I meet privately with the each Committee leader. There is a Housing Committee, a Food Committee, a Communications Committee, and an Activities Committee. Each plays a huge role in keeping our little OSSO community in order.

At 8:00pm, all of the volunteers gather for what is called "General Meeting."At this meeting the Roseros make general announcements then Lee and I lead a discussion about Sites and Committees with the input of Site and Committee leaders.

The volunteers arrived home and began our respective meetings. During my Activities Committee meeting with another female volunteer, lets call her Katie, seemed cold and upset. Katie eventually shared how she had had a long day and was angry with the other male volunteer in the house, lets call him Dave. She said she has always had a problem with him and today was her last straw. Her problems with him were in regards to his service in her site so I asked her to invite Dave to her meeting with Lee and talk it out right away. She did and they resolved their problem. Dave was understanding and apologetic and this surprised Katie.

The main problem, as I saw it, was that the volunteers had not taken the time to get to know each other and as a result were judging each other unfairly. Even though two large conflicts had been resolved we felt that the group as a whole was still suffering.

So I began the 8:00pm General meeting with the following quotes from How to Win Friends and Influence people.

"Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it. But why not begin on yourself? Its a lot more profitable than trying to improve others... Any fool can criticize,condemn and complain and most fools do. But it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving... Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them. Let's figure our why they do what they do. To know all is to forgive all. God himself does not propose to judge man until the end of his days, why should you and I?"

Lee followed this up by a quote from Cameron Steeles song Her Advice " There are two kinds of people in this world; the ones you love and the ones you don't know." Then I asked each volunteer to share something about themselves that we do not know about them. The next hour was miraculously beautiful. Tears streamed down every face as we learned of the secret struggles each person had.

Healing began to take place as we discussed what contention was and how we could remove it from our home. We discussed the origin of contention and how the war in Heaven wasn't a war of bloodshed it was a war of conflicting ideas- the beginnings of contention.

Each person committed to follow the council given in D&C 121:43 “reproving betimes (in the moment) with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy.”

I am so grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and His example. It was the gift of His Spirit that facilitated this inspired discussion to take place.

One Mans Trash Is Another Mans Treasure

At breakfast Monday morning Lee and I were startled by the sound of women screaming. We looked out the window to discovered several women fighting over our trash. People throughout the city rummage through the trash looking for food to feed their animals, mainly pigs. We separate out our food into different bags just for their convenience, but also so they do not scatter our trash in front of our door.

Truly one man's trash is another man's treasure. This is humbling.

With New Years Just Around the Corner

As the New Year approaches we are preparing to celebrate Ecuadorian style. The streets are filled with sidewalk vendors selling paper mache mannequins dressed in real clothes that represent almost every known political, entertainment, and cartoon character known. Why? To burn the doll on New Years eve. We are told that on New Years Eve there will be hundreds of street bonfires where people toss the mannequins into the fire. The original purpose of the tradition is to symbolically burn away the things you wish to get rid of from the previous year. Be it a habit, memories or even to symbolically remove a person from your life. But like many traditions, the real meanings has been commercialized and lost in the translations. To burn a Mickey Mouse or a Shrek mannequin is a bit of a stretch but it is the fun that counts. There is another tradition where young boys dress up in black women’s clothes and beg for money to help them mourn the loss of their "dead" mannequins husbands.

Contrast...

This afternoon we were just looking through some pictures of our first few months in the southern hemisphere. It was fun to see find some contrasting pictures.

This first picture was taken June 7, 2010 probably around 4:30 AM while Marcus, Danika's father, drove us to the airport. Danika was seated in the back seat and is the photographer.



This second picture was taken just over a month later on July 21, 2010 as we taxied to Hogar Miguel Leon (the all girls orphanage) from the bowling alley. Danika again was the one behind the camera.

The people in South America are so small, and we are so big!

He Has Sent Me Here

The night before a large number of volunteers leave we host a banquet to celebrate their service. Lee and I attended our 5th Banquet tonight and it was the toughest goodbye yet. The entire group will not be departing tomorrow, just 4 which makes it even harder. Laura and Heidi will leave later this month, then Maddy in January followed by Julie and Anna in February.

The banquet program normally consists of a dinner, speakers, a musical number, a slide-show, a ring ceremony and a candle ceremony. Each group chooses a theme for the banquet. I do not know the theme until I arrive at the banquet and read it on the printed program. Tonight I sat down, picked up the program and read the evenings theme: "He Has Sent Me Here." I instantly teared up and received a witnessed that God, our Heavenly Father has sent us here.

Here is a group photo that we took before the tears.

He sent Michael, Julie, Heidi, Maggie, Eliza, Jordan, Kate, Maddy, Anna, Laura, Danika and Lee here at THIS time to share THIS experience. He sent Michael to teach us how to up our exercise routine. He sent Julie to remind us to slow down and laugh. He sent Heidi to keep healthy food stocked in the house. He sent Maggie to teach us the beauty of youth. He sent Eliza to show us that change are possible for anyone. He sent us Jordan to strengthen our testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He sent us Kate to re-energize our efforts at planning meaningful activities for the children. He sent us Maddy to help us reflect on the importance of our education. He sent us Anna to ease the pain of being far from home. And He sent Laura to nurture us.

Lee and I are in charge of organizing the candle ceremony. We have the group stand in a circle and each hold a candle. Lee lights one candle and begins singing the hymn "Because I Have Been Given Much." As he sings he lights the candles of the people standing next to him and they begins to sing once their candle is lit. The flame continues to spread around the circle and the volume slowly begins to increase until the entire circle is lit and everyone is singing. (We sing the first two verses in English and the third in Spanish.)

Because I have been given much, I too must give;Because of they great bounty, Lord, each day I live I shall divide my gifts from thee With ev’ry brother that I see Who has the need of help from me.

Because I have been sheltered, fed by thy good care,I cannot see another’s lack and I not share My glowing fire, my loaf of bread, My roof’s safe shelter overhead, That he too may be comforted.

Tú me has dado muchas bendiciones, Dios; por eso quiero dar también, según Tu voz. A mi hermano atenderé, su gran dolor mitigaré;a mi prójimo mi amor daré.

Normally the evening ends quickly after the candle ceremony. But tonight we lingered to hold each other.

Above: Heidi and Kate, Maggie and Danika saying goodbye.

Danika and Kate

Danika and Eliza.

He has sent us here.

So Far Away Yet So Close

Being on the bottom half of the world has its benefits, but one of them surely is not being away from family. Though occasionally things happen that seem to make the distance more tolerable.

A few days ago, some volunteers assigned with the responsibility of purchasing fruit from the fruit market twice a week came home and mentioned they had purchased pears this week that were imported from Washington. So as I examined the box they came in I was surprised to find the following...

Those of you from the Rogers clan should recognize Lake Chelan. Seeing this took me back to my very cloudy memories of the vacations we'd spend there on the ranch. I was young enough that most of my 'memories' visually come from the pictures I looked at growing up. Although I do not remember much of those times together as a family, I do remember the more recent times together and cherish them.

We love and miss you all. And it's like they say, it's a small world after all

Household Pet to Delicacy

In Ecuador and Peru, the Guinea pig is a delicacy. A few weeks back we toured a farm, we saw in a little shed where one would expect to see chickens, dozens of guinea pigs scurrying about. Odd to think that each one of them would be sold to a restaurant for $8-10 where they would turn around and sell it for $12-15 as an entrée. So after living here six months, we finally got around to getting one for ourselves to share with the volunteers. The pictures below relate our experience.

WARNING: Anyone who has owned a guinea pig as a pet may not find the following amusing.








Two volunteers decided to each eat an eyeball. Interesting, but really not that appetizing
.

Danika initiated her first phone call in spanish

It has rained off and on almost every day this week, so we had pictured spending our weekend indoors. However we woke up Saturday morning to a bright sunlight and clear sky. That’s when I told Lee, “Remember how the Arciniegas family invited us to use their swimming pool whenever we wished to?! Well, I’d like to give Tami Arciniegas a call and see if today is convenient, would you help me prep for the phone call?” So together we put together what I’d like to say and then I gave her a call on speakerphone.

“Podria hablar con Tami?”

“De parte de quien?” (it was her son).

“Soy Danika Rogers,” (pronounced Royers) I replied.

While he went to find Tami I decided to take it off speakerphone so I could hear better, but I accidentally hung up. Opps.

I called back and this time Tami answered.

“ Hola Tami, soy Danika. Nos dijo que podriamos pasar y usar su pescina. Es conviniente hoy?” I asked.

“Si pero me deben advisar con tiempo para calentar al agua,” Tami replied.

“Esta bien no importa,” I said.

“Pasen no mas.” She said.

"Gracias! Pues vamos a ir."

We quickly gathered our things and walked to the Arciniegas home 25 minutes away.

The pool was cold, but lovely.

Fue exactamente lo que necitamos ayer!

October Tales

Every 2 months or so the volunteers put together a slideshow of their service here. They include photos and music of their memories. The slideshow is played at a going-away banquet for the exiting volunteers. Volunteers always take pictures of us but we normally don't get copies of the photos except for when we spot them in a slideshow. Here are a couple of pictures that we found in the last slideshow. The first four were taken at an orphanage called"Hogar Para Todos" in a city called Azogues.




This last photo was taken at Trinidad. Lee and I are teaching the children how to play "Doggie Doggy." I discovered this game summer 2008 while visiting family in Incline Village. It was a lovely week with lots of time to play with nieces and nephews.

One day the kids were bored so I googled " kid games" and thats how I found "Doggy Doggy." A child sits in a chair with their back to the other children. An pen or another object was put under the chair. That was the bone. While 'the dog' was turned around with his or her eyes closed, someone would sneak up and steal the bone. Then everyone would sing: "Doggy, Doggy, where's your bone? Somebody's took it from your home."Then the dog has three chances to guess who took the bone.

While at Trinidad I told Lee that we should try to teach the children the game, so he quickly translated the phrase and it turned out to work really well. The words are just as cute. "Perrito, perrito, donde esta tu huesito?" It made me think of my nieces and nephews who we miss so much.

Ruta Nocuturna 10k

Danika and I officially survived our first 10k together. For Danika it was her 3rd (she did a 5k on her birthday a few years ago, she ran in the Ragnar Relay, and now this 10k in Cuenca) while this was my first. I am learning that running is 80-85% mental and the rest is your physical ability.

Danika loved the whole run, while I on the other hand struggled for the first 3 or 4 kilometers. We were approaching a fairly steep, 200 meter climb when I suggested we walk it. Danika said try it and do your best. Then it clicked and my racing mentality kicked in and just to prove it to myself I almost sprinted the hill. From there on down the race was easier. Danika and I generally ran side by side, except for when having to split up to maneuver around other racers.

I was extremely grateful they had marked each kilometer with a large banner that hung over the street, this allowed us to track our progress and/or count how many we had left, depending on our level of fatigue. After a few minutes after passing the banner marking the 8th kilometer, I started looking for the next banner, which I had seen earlier that day when we drove by with the Roseros, that was nowhere to be seen. It was when I caught a glimpse of the finish line that I realized they either had taken it down or that it had fallen, either way I was a happy man. I sprinted to the end and crossed it as the race timer read 1:00:50, but seeing we were at the tail end of the 5,000 participants when the race started, we didn't cross the line for probably 3-5 minutes hoping to wait out the dense crowd. Fortunately we had been given chips that would clock our exact time. We haven't quite figured out where our times have been or will be posted but that's okay.

We enjoyed the thrill of a race and were more than happy to only ran the 10k (we're not quite as intense as you Em!)

Just recently added some pictures that Rodrigo took of us.



Tying to our fee the chips that would measure our time right from crossing the start line to the finish line.

Funny picture of us squinting before the race

So Lee isn't too tough to spot because he's a head taller than everyone else, but can you find Danika?

Nice and wet after the race.

Our personal cheer squad. As I was within 200 meters of the finish line I heard Sammy's (the Rosero's 17 year old daughter) distinguished screech of "LEEEEEEEEE!!!"

Just for laughs

Ismael (10 years old) always talks about how he wishes he had long( masculine) hair. Last Sunday at Dinner, Ismael leaned in close to his sister Sammy and draped her hair over his head. That caught the attention of the 10 volunteers who were also eating dinner with us. We all laughed.

Then Sammy said, " Quiero ver mi papi como rubio!" I looked around the room wondering whose hair she wanted to use, because I am definitely not blonde anymore.

Then she said ," Pues, el pelo de Danika!"I contested and explained that my hair is NOT blonde and she replied, " Si, lo es!" Finally she said, " rubio es algo menos oscuro de nuestro pelo." That was so funny to me because before we moved here my Dads response to me dying my hair was, "you're still going to be blonde to the people in Ecuador, you know that right?!." I didn't believe him then , but I believe him now!

This is Rodrigo with me standing behind him

Some how it turned into a not so masculine evening as the women pressed the men to try out these new looks...

Ishmael with a wig on standing with Sammy

Lee's turn

Rodrigo with Laura hair, a volunteer from Canada

Rodrigo with the wig

Lastly, Lee with my hair! haha!

Got Milk?

You might see these photos the next time you buy milk in Rexburg Idaho. We were asked to take these photos of the children from OSSO's Little Ones with the hopes to raise money to buy milk for the orphanage.

These are th children from Casa Alegria ( House of Joy)

Aldo

Adriana

Thomas

and Christian. Cracks me up!

Hiking a Few Weeks Ago

A few weeks ago we went hiking with the Roseros, it was refreshing. We had the parents and both their kids all to ourselves and we had a blast. The place we went to was called __________ (I don't remember the name, but I'll post it when I find it out).

This is a view of the mountain we climbed from the center of a small town at its base.



If there is something to climb, I don't let the opportunity pass me by. This time I had some friends to play with.
This is a fun angle, it make Rodrigo look like he's free climbing and is barely holding on.

This is the picture our camera took we I dropped it from our perch. It fell about fifteen feet, struck the rock and then landed in the grass as you can see. This happened to justify my purchase of a shock-proof camera.


A view of some Inca ruins, unfortunately these are not protected so there is quite a lot of graffiti.

The Rosero family (from left to right): Rodrigo, Lorena, Ismael, and Sammy







Sad to think that someone wrote their nickname here just for kicks.